Day 2: Loving your lover

Our wedding of course : ) 7/11/2009

I've been doing couples therapy at my new job and it has awakened all sorts of thoughts and feelings I had no clue existed. I was working on those feelings with my supervisor last week (because to be a good therapist you better know you're own issues so they don't get in the way!) and at the end of it all he said "you really love him a lot, don't you." And I do. I love Mr. Thomson so much it's ridiculous. That doesn't mean that there aren't things we can do to make sure things stay that way for a good long time.

My absolute favorite thing to work on with couples is Love Languages. You can get the book here or at any local bookstore. It's written in an easy read way with lots of anecdotes. When you start dating someone, you have all of those exciting falling in love emotions. It's dang fun! But what happens when things start to slow down? In the book it says that usually those intense feelings last on average about 2 years. That's not all that long if you're planning on being with someone for eternity. That's when you have to start working at it, and it's much easier to work on if you know how to give love to your person in the way they understand it best.

The book outlines the 5 major ways that people give and receive love. So you read it, learn all about the languages and what they mean, take the easy test in the back and go forth and love! Not quite that easy, but I think it helps you see things in a different light. Of course I made Dan take it and I took it. I scored highest with Physical Touch and Dan scored highest with Acts of Service. I had absolutely no clue about Dan and I love that now I look for ways that I can serve him since that's how he feels most loved and I acknowledge when he serves me as his way of showing me love. He also works to hold my hand or rub my back and give random touches throughout the day since he now knows that's how I feel most loved. I don't know about him but I've been feeling way more content and fulfilled in our relationship since we read this.

Loving your lover can take work. But they're your person and you chose them, they're totally worth the extra work sometimes : )